Wednesday, December 8, 2010

regaining steam

crazy how just putting it out there to the world that i was going to post every day for a month really made me do it – i'm kicking myself for loosing steam over the past eight days, too.

i really want to keep it up.
i've just been feeling buried by my to-do list lately. bugs.

maybe it's the time of year Рbeing busy in the month of december is almost an american requirement (barf) and it's a clich̩ i'd prefer not to fall into.

i've just been overwhelmed the past several days.
not in a way that's debilitating or depressing – just in a way that i feel like if i check one thing off my list, another two or three get added.
the one step forward, two steps back routine.

it's just hard to fit it all into bonz's nap window – my window of time to TCB.
try as i might, it just doesn't all get done so the list grows. and grows. and grows.
then i find a way to beat myself up and feel lame because working isn't on the list.
i'm not working and i can't keep up on my life? seriously?

and choo choo is more than willing and able to hang with the bonz when he gets home from work but it's incredibly hard for me to be productive when he's crying "mama mama mama" from the other room.

oh, life.
it's all such the typical song and dance of the stay at home mom, working dad, growing to-do list, baby who wants mommy mommy mommy... i guess all those parenting truisms exist for a reason.
and, as it turns out, we ain't exempt from 'em.
and it'll pass. i know that, too.
i don't always feel like this – in fact, i usually don't.

the process actually feels good though.
ultimately it helps me realize my limitations and adjust my expectations and get a grip on my priorities.
but in the same breath it gives me a kick in the pants to power through everything and get back on top of my game.

this morning we went for a walk and playdate by the water.
sometimes it's crazy that, as people who live in a beach town, we don't spend every single day by the water. there is nothing more regenerating than seeing, hearing and smelling the ocean.
and there's nothing prettier than the winter sun sparkling on the water, either.

so i'm going to get cracking on getting shit DONE while bonzo's sawing logs.

here's where we were this morning.
gorgeously uplifting:

1 comment:

janel holiday huff said...

we can compare "to do" lists and maybe it will make you feel better..... :) love the shot of leadbetter -so gorg.....xoxo