the goods

it's safe to say that i'm a lover of products.

yeah, i know: consumption, waste, frivolity.

but i really do like the promise that a little something new brings my way – sometimes it's disappointing, other times i discover something that'll forever be a favorite.

either way, this mama likes her stuff and i was inspired to do a round-up of my tried and trues because a couple weeks ago i tried something that's kinda revolutionized my life.

i really try to use (and naturally gravitate towards) products that are natural and/or organic and generally not toxic to me or the environment.

that said, sometimes i throw a little caution to the wind.

now, i'm definitely not winning any beauty contests or anything but that leads me to my main point: feeling good is where it's at.

oh, and also? don't let this fool you into thinking that i spend much time in front of the mirror.

bonzo's 19 months old, remember? there ain't much time to burn in the mornings 'round here.

here are my favorites:

jurlique lavender-lavandin hydrating essence: put a few drops of this in a bowl filled with warm/hot water and soak a washcloth it then press it to your face a few times. i can tell a noticeable difference in my skin when i do this regularly. you'd think that'd be enough to have me doing this nightly... but i'm lazy about it.

neutrogena naturals purifying facial cleanser: both me and the chooch are down with this one. good times.

clarisonic: my facialist turned me onto this – so glad she did.

jurlique rosewater balancing mist: love.

dr. hauschka lip care stick: smells good, feels good. i wish it had a smidge of shine but you can't win 'em all.

neutrogena healthy skin brightening eye perfector: being a mommy = dark circles. enough said.

kinerase C8 peptide intensive treatment: new to me – so far so good.

josie maran matchmaker argan serum foundation: like i said, not winnin' any beauty contests but i have to say: this is a new favorite. the whole "color matching" thing feels gimmicky to me but whatever. it matches me really well. and it feels rad going on and improves things without making me feel like i have a bunch of make-up on. i love it, dudes.

jurlique moisture replenishing day cream: day cream, night cream. love. oh, and i use this most days for SPF and it completely rules.

kate somerville eradikate: the only thing that would be greater would be not needing this at all. but alas.

NARS the multiple: peachy-pink shimmer/sheer light brown shimmer – but not that shimmery. perfect.

philosophy eye hope: i like to think this works wonders.

john masters sea mist: not rocket science but i love the way this makes my hair feel when i spritz it lightly after it's blown dry – because i blow dry my hair so often these days, i swear.

water: water water water. sometimes i get so busy and don't drink as much as i should. lame.

she uemura eyelash curler: not sure why this one rules as much as it does but it does.

bumble and bumble texture: brand new – and new to me, too. just got it the other day when i got my hair done. pretty much love it already.

burt's bees herbal deodorant: thanks, mommy hormones.

jurlique citrus hand cream: my hands are constantly dry. this smells yummy. the end.

so there you have it!

rainy days

i know someone who got a pair of rain boots and thinks they're pretty rad.

dimpled knuckles.

i could eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner daily – or i guess i should say i do eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner daily.

grey days

i knit a little cap for an old friend's newborn baby girl.

well, truth be told, she's not as new as she was when i bought the yarn – sigh.

but i finished it up and dropped it in the mail the other day... just in time for it to cool down and get a little bit stormy in southern california.

i think every baby needs a dove grey cashmere beanie, don't you?

unconditional parenting | 4. put the relationship first

and alfie kohn does it again:

"... but before we resort to controlling interventions, before we make a child unhappy, and certainly before we do anything that could be construed as placing conditions on our love, we should make absolutely sure it's worth the possible strain on the relationship."

this one's a creeper – for me anyways – as in, it seems simple enough but then when i think about it a little more, it starts sinking in a little deeper. creepin' in a little further.

and i know as bonzo gets a bit older, the meaning of those words will morph and grow.

but today, bonzo is 19 months old so it means this to me:

what could be more important than bonzo's relationship with me – and mine with him?

nothing, that's what.

a 19 month old can push a button or two. oh how they can push a button or two.

and bonzo has seen me frustrated and not at my most patient, which is fine by me because i think it's important that he sees that the full spectrum of feelings and emotions – happy, sad, mad – are a part of life and are all okay. i don't want him to see me mask how i feel so he's seeing cheerful but sensing tension – i want him to see a positive example of me feeling the feelings.

i really want him to know that when i'm not at my finest that it's not his fault.

and i want to continue to recognize my feelings and take a deep breath before proceeding or reacting. because it is in that breath that i put our relationship first.

i don't want to react to a situation in a way that would make him feel like i'm capable of becoming feared or untrustworthy.

so when i'm being pushed to the brink (hello, the last 36 hours) and i want to shout "AREYOUFUCKINGSERIOUS?!" from the hilltops, i remember a couple things:

1. bonzo's needs are immediate and they're urgent – to him. they just are. period. the end.

the sooner i can remember that he doesn't mean to be rude+demanding+irritating+exasperating the better we'll both be! he's just sayin' what's on his mind, man. the filter will come later. right?

2. he's learning how to handle life by watching how i handle life. if that's not enough to check myself i don't know what is. and i don't have any hope or expectation that i will be a perfect model, either and i think that's a big, huge, important piece of the puzzle: everyone stumbles along the way. mommy does, daddy does and bonzo will be better off for seeing that modeled for him, too. it's all a part of the process: showing him that we can loose our way but find our way back.

3. what's got me at my max one day will not have me there forever – and the trust, love and respect we have for each other will always eclipse the maxed-out moments... especially if i continue to put our relationship first.

and like i said, as time marches on, the notion of "conditions" and "strain" on our relationship will change shape a bit. but either way, staying true to what our relationship has been, is now, and what i want it to become always seems to right the ship – and i figure the more practice i get at it now the better. that way, i'm more and more equipped to handle what comes my way when things really get fun.

busy days