good times

wordless wednesday

haircuts and smiles

okay. so bonzo's never had a haircut. as you can see below.
here's the thing: it's too cute to cut. he's got messy curls in the back – complete with a ringlet or two depending on the day – yet it's totally straight in the front and mostly stays to the side and out of his eyes. truth be told, though, i snipped a few teensy tiny snips off the front while he napped one day (how else could i do it?) to keep it out of his eyes. and buy me more time while i pondered the question: to cut or not to cut?

regardless of whether or not it gets cut it'll still stay long and shaggy. it's just in the cards for this guy to have a mop.

maybe later. that's when we'll do it. later. perfect. it's decided!






oh, and by the way, when i ask bonzo to smile for a picture this is what happens:





oh, and this:

feels like fall

the changing of the seasons is pretty subtle in santa barbara but i've been feeling it gradually over the last week or two. i see it in the quality of the light and feel it in the hint of brisk in the breeze. even though our indian summers often last until halloween, it's definitely feeling like fall's upon us and making me want to hunker down and get cozy. it's cool to see the way bonzo, who is gloriously oblivious to the concept of time and goes by his body's clock alone, is starting to adjust to the season's change. bedtimes have been gradually shifting, following the darker evenings. the rhythm of our evening just seems to run smoother when the sun and moon are on toddler time, i've realized.

and so, 'tis the season for stocks, soups and stews – and my favorite cast iron pots.
my goal this year is to have chicken stock (homemade, of course) on hand at all times for making soups, quinoa and stuff. and just for drinking broth – bonzo's fave.

it couldn't be easier to make and i know there are no rules and a zillion ways to do it but here's how we do it around here. i'm a stickler for organic meat and produce – it's so important.

4 bone-in, organic, cage-free chicken breasts
1-2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 cup-ish yellow onion, roughly cut (peel on)
1 cup-ish chopped carrot
3/4 cup-ish chopped celery
1-2 sprigs fresh thyme
4-5 sprigs of parsley
1 small bay leaf
handful of peppercorns
generous pinch of sea salt

put chicken breasts in the bottom of a big stock pot – i'm in love with my nine quart pot!
throw the onion, carrots, celery, bay leaf and peppercorns on top and fill pot with cold filtered water, about 3-4 quarts and your apple cider vinegar and let sit for a half hour or so.
bring it to just-about-boiling then keep it at a nice simmer so there are a few bubbles popping up but it's not boiling. skim off any ick that rises to the surface. cook a couple hours (or until chicken is cooked). continue to cook but remove breasts and let them cool until you can handle them to remove most of the meat. set meat aside and put bones (gross, i know) back into the stock pot and continue to cook for as long as you want, really. another few hours or more. i like to add the herbs and salt when i'm about a half hour or so from the finish line. then turn heat off and strain – press out as much broth from the vegetables as you can in the strainer.

this recipe will yield quite a bit of shredded chicken but i can put it to good use quite easily. i use part of it for chicken noodle soup, which i can make with the stock – and it's pretty easy to come up with other ways to eat the rest. shredded chicken is good in sandwiches, salads, seasoned for tacos etc.

bonzo and the burger bus

do you think bonzo was stoked when we told him we were going to get lunch from a school bus today?
answer: yes.

today we caught up with the burger bus – a food truck (make that a food bus) that specializes in... well... burgers. what's rad is that they use high quality, local ingredients: 100% grass-fed, hormone free beef, local bread, cheese from a local – and insanely delicious – cheese shop and farmer's market produce. their menu is compact but they do what they do best, you know?

we got burgers and hand-cut yam fries.
it was a treat. the food and, obviously, getting it from a school bus. a certain someone could hardly believe his eyes.

wordless/wednesday

unconditional parenting | 7. be authentic

i've been a bit slow to keep up my little series on unconditional parenting but i haven't forgotten. i think about this stuff all the time. but since this is a self appointed task... you get the drift.

the seventh principal of unconditional parenting is: be authentic.
and like the six that came before it, it's a good one. 

basically it's about being real with your kids – about your faults, foibles, misfires, wants, needs, preferences. not in a burdensome way, though. it's not about full disclosure. it's not about divulging every last detail with your children.
our friend alfie starts this section off talking about finding the middle ground between being pals with one's kids and being too beholden to the title of "mother" or "father" – and just being a real person with them. 

i really like the notion of being a real person in front of bonzo – and, well, in life in general. and i'm thankful that this isn't something that i feel like i have to work at – it comes pretty naturally. i think it's so important that he sees that i'm vulnerable and can have feelings of my own. if i want him to be able to continue to identify his feelings and express them openly, i think it's only fair that i do so in return – obviously in a way that's appropriate for my two year old. there are indeed times where i don't think it's in his best interest to see the magnitude of my feelings or concern. 

but life happens. sometimes he becomes privy to something that, in hindsight, i would have preferred that he didn't but even those moments are teachable.

for instance, there are times when the chooch and i are having a discussion that becomes... well... a discussion. no one's yelling or anything but we're not exactly holding hands, skipping down a grassy hillside either. i love the idea of shelving it and waiting for another moment when bonzo's not underfoot to revisit it. but sometimes it's that rational idea that's shelved while we squabble over whatever-it-is.

we're human. we're parents. it happens. and not often – but it's happened before and it'll happen again. here's how i look at it: bonz sees that we're human. he sees that two humans can disagree or have big feelings that need to be talked out – but he also sees the resolution and result. he sees us talk, wrap it up, apologize, make-up, hug, console each other and move on. this is the life process we're trying to teach after all. and what's nice is that we don't have to stage these moments for teaching – life just doles 'em out!

(quick note: we are absolutely capable of drawing a line with this and would never subject bonzo to anything we felt wasn't healthy – of course. thankfully we're not a very hot-tempered twosome and things have never reached that point. and even the lamest of disputes have been put aside to be dealt with when bonz isn't around. i'm just sayin'.)

expressing my genuine concerns and feelings with bonzo, aside from helping him see me as a real person and not some kind of mother-figure-robot, also helps me with boundaries and limits. it's really important to me that i don't feel no but say yes. i think that it's way confusing for kids to sense one thing but be told another. and i don't want to teach him – however passively or inadvertently – to go against his inner compass. and like i said, it really does help me with setting limits or at the very least initiating a conversation about limits which, i realize, will evolve as he grows up. but, for now, when something is on my mind i will talk to him about it so he knows how i feel – whether i'm feeling frazzled, frustrated, tired or just at a loss for what to do. even though i know some of the conversation will be lost on him i'll have it anyways. i want him to know that i have feelings, too. 

we try to find a way to make it work for everyone: extra time in bed with stories and cuddles when i'm the sleepiest mama... switching activities when the energy is escalating exponentially and not helping an already frazzled mama's nervous system... and, as always, sometimes a line has to be drawn and a limit must be set. and sometimes it won't be met with an agreeable bonzo. and there's a space for those feelings, too. at the end of the day, what matters most is that i'm as honest and real as i can be with him and vice versa.

alfie talks about the importance of apologizing in this section, too. his main point is that it sets a powerful example, which it totally does.

he goes on to talk about how ineffective it is to force a child to say they're sorry (right?!) and how its so much more beneficial to show them how it's done instead. these tiny humans are taking mental notes all the time – these are the things we want them to be noting! not only does it remind kids that you're not perfect but it gives them the opportunity feel what it's like to be apologized to. 

the other day i was doing too many things at once. bonzo hadn't napped and i kept trying to quickly do the few things that i would have done while he was sleeping – but he wasn't. 

to make a not-very-long story really short, he was trying to get my attention in an unpleasant way (totally my fault) and i snapped at him out of frustration (totally my fault) and he cried.

oh dear. typing that is humbling but that's what happened. not exactly picture-perfect-parenting. once he was calm (my ego needs to state that he was only upset for about 45 seconds) i apologized to him very genuinely. i told him i was sorry that i got frustrated. i told him why i was frustrated and that i shouldn't have responded to him the way i did. we had a little moment, me and bonz. there were kisses and hugs and happy feelings.

then for the next two days he'd randomly say, "i'm sorry i was frustrated in the office." so i know he was processing it and thinking about it. 

in one breath, hearing him say that stung a little because i felt bad about what happened but, in another, i was actually happy that it'd stuck with him and was something he could learn from. i'm glad he got to experience that. the more he does, the more he'll understand about apologizing and being apologized to.

i know this isn't rocket science. most people are probably doing this – being real with their kids – without even thinking about it. but it's just a good perspective check. for me, at least. being real with bonzo comes as naturally as breathing – but sometimes i'll still catch myself doing or saying something that i feel like i should be doing or saying rather than what would just come from my heart. so it's a good reminder, this stuff. 

and as always with the disclaimer: if you're into this stuff, rad. if you're not, that's cool too. i'm totally not trying to push a parenting agenda on anyone or break out the pom-poms for myself either. 

oh, and it's always nice to end things on an adorable note, right?

who is that?

i just got sucked into the iphoto archives by accident.
i went back in photo-time looking for something but then got sidetracked by heaps and heaps of cuteness and just couldn't stop scrolling and clicking and oooh-ing and ahhh-ing and happy-sighing.

then i landed on this photo and bonzo happened to glance over from across the room and says, "who's that, mama?"

i was just asking myself the same question, buddy.
who is that little guy in the photo and how'd he get so big?

wordless/wednesday

tracks and tunes

at the ripe old age of two, i'd say bonzo has some pretty rad taste in music. we listen to what we all like around here – we don't really draw lines between adult music and bonzo music. he's usually just as happy to listen to a little dire straits, bob dylan or bob marley (on wax!) as he is to listen to something that's technically geared to little ears – though he knows what we wants to hear and when he wants to hear it, that bonzo.

to keep everyone happy – and most importantly not to ruin bonzo's budding taste in music – we've added some cool kids records to the regular rotation.

our all time favorite is elizabeth mitchell. we've been listening to her since day one. the first song bonzo ever sang along to was one of hers – he chimed in at the "choo choo" (how appropriate, right?) part of "little red caboose" when he was ten months old. we were floored. the next morning he did it again and i got it on video. it's pretty much the cutest thing i've ever seen. so yeah, we love her.

before i had bonzo i'd see displays of these putumayo cds in stores and wonder, "who buys those?" and now i listen to them all time. we, as it turns out, are the people that buy them! they're definitely in the kids category but... when in rome, right? they're cute.

the green album, a record of everyone's favorite muppets songs covered by alt/indie/rock bands, is pretty cool too. like most records there are some hits and some misses but it's almost entirely cute and andrew bird's cover of "bein' green" is perfect.

ziggy marley's family time is good stuff. elizabeth mitchell makes a cameo – as does paul simon and willie nelson. we totally like it.

and we love living room dance parties!

swooning

no, it's really not the least bit shocking that the lovely and tallented blake would produce something... well... this lovely.

i mean, this girl's got a beautiful home, child, garden and an impeccable taste level. she cooks and creates like nobody's business – a quick scroll through her blog and you'll get the picture. immediately.

yesterday she launched willow ship, her handmade collection of home goods and i've been swooning since.

she managed to hit all the high-points – i'm talking scrumptious linen that's hand printed in a way that's earthy, vintage, modern, cool, nostalgic and dreamy all at once.

check out willow ship for more – and stay tuned because word on the street is there's more stuff to come. and i kinda can't wait.






[images]

almost in heavy rotation

i love getting new music.
and i love that bonzo's a fan of listening to the same album over and over and over again because, like him, when i love music i love it a lot.

two albums i can't wait for are mates of state's "mountaintops" and real estate's "days".
thankfully they don't come out at the same time – obsessing over two new records is rad but hard. how do you decide which to play?

mates of state comes out next week, on the thirteenth. but you can stream it now – check it out.

real estate doesn't come out until next month. bonzo and i have been listening to "it's real" a bunch in preparation. we're excited.

four years

i seriously have no idea where four whole years went.
it was a beautiful day – i married my best friend and the coolest guy i know. rad, right?

that gardenia smelled like heaven.





my mom needlepointed this pillow for my grandfather (whose name is now bonzo's middle name!) before i was born. you're a prince. seriously. perfect.










my grandmother's butterfly broaches.




happy anniversary, choo choo.



[images]

simple salads

lunches around here have been less than inspiring – for me anyways.

by the time bonzo's napping (ahem – on days he actually naps) this mama's hungry and preparing lunch is just one of the many things that needs to get done but is the one i've been skimping on – cutting corners lazily to make more time for the other stuff i need and want to do.

it's a bad habit, really.

so to get out of the rut, i decided to spend a few minutes in the kitchen yesterday preparing fixin's for salads galore. with everything washed, chopped and ready to go.



i have my salad spinner in the fridge filled with washed and spun-dry lettuces just waiting to be grabbed by the handful and thrown in a big bowl. and gp's standby vinaigrette is perfection.


then on the top shelf of the fridge i've got a bunch of deliciousness to add to the mix:
roasted beets, avocados, tomatoes, cucumbers, figs, cilantro, red onion, feta, sunflower seeds...



i think i'm officially out of my lunch rut!

sleepy heads

yesterday morning i snuck out of bed and left these two behind:

i got up, made coffee and sipped it in peaceful silence while (finally) flipping through the colossal and only mildly-entertaining september issue of vogue. when i returned, choo choo was getting up but the sleepiest bonzo still remained, out like a light. it wasn't until just after 8 o'clock that he sat up, hair in every direction possible, and said, "i just need to go in the kitchen and eat my lunch."

okay, buddy. i love you so.

pictures of pictures

right before bonzo's first birthday i thought it might be cool to do a little photo retrospective: a year in the life of bonzo.

i mentioned it to the chooch, describing what i had in mind. and he's so rad – he stepped into his shop and came out with a tape measure, a spool of wire, some hardware bits and basically produced what i'd been thinking about in a matter of moments without even having to buy a thing. three cheers for handy husbands.

fast forward a year and it still hangs in our living room with updated photos spanning birth to a few days before bonzo's second birthday.

it's cool to see how he's grown and changed. and i love having that many slices of life displayed for me to get weepy and nostalgic at whenever i please. it's pretty low-fi and casual but then: so are we.

i've been asked a time or two how we did this and my answer is always pretty boring and vague because it was made from what we had on hand and it i'm certain it can be re-created in an infinite number of ways. here's what we did and, in the loosest sense possible, how we did it. and by we, i mean the chooch, of course!





this is a weird right-angle piece of hardware. anything would do, i'm sure.


you can't really string this much longer than we did – otherwise it won't be taut enough. and we don't want droopy pictures.


i had a couple cans o' these clips laying around that i thought would be perfect, and they are:

toot toot!

talk about a fun birthday morning.
a bite of breakfast then an adventure with dear, dear friends aboard the lil' toot.

it's the shortest cruise known to man – just a quick zip through the harbor, then over to the very nearby stern's wharf and back again. or for those without naptime looming, you can get off the boat and hang at the wharf (shop, have a bite, check out the sea center) then board again to get back to the harbor.

can't beat being surrounded by ocean with the channel islands on one side and the gorgeous santa barbara riviera on the other. we sure live in a beautiful town.

and the lil' toot couldn't be cuter: she's a cheerful little tugboat with bubbles pouring out of the smoke stack and the cutest little whistle – toot! – you ever heard.

in spite of the cuteness and having his best mate aboard, bonzo just wasn't too sure about it. there was some concern. and tears. and crying. but i'm pretty sure there was a little bit of fun had, too.