Tuesday, January 8, 2013
i've never really been much of a list maker when it comes to resolutions – though i could make a list for just about any other thing i can think of. but lately i've been feeling like my head – and heart – is coming up with ideas and plans faster than i can keep up with. so i could call 'em resolutions. but really, they're my new year's intentions:
> consume less/organize more
i like quality over quantity. i'd rather have fewer, nice things than a lot of not-as-nice things. i like new things as much as the next girl but i want to consume less stuff – and be very, very thoughtful about the stuff that does come into my space – both mental and physical. this year i want to really want to put my money where my mouth is. as in, i want a closet that's filled with only what i actually wear. i want things on shelves that i actually love and use. i want to open cabinets and closets and see order. basically, i want to rid myself and my home of stuff that's weighing me down.
> worry less/be present more
dude, if anyone can borrow trouble, it's me. a spark of fret can ignite a wildfire of worry for me. health, safety, inevitability – you name it, i can sweat it. but nothing takes you out of the now like worrying. there's simply no way to live in the present while worrying about a future that doesn't even exist yet – or a past that never will again.
> wait less/take risks more
i feel like there's an ongoing list of things i don't do because i'm waiting for the time to be just right or i don't do simply because i think i can't for whatever reason. i won't try something because i don't think i'll be good enough of happy enough with the results (see above). i want to be better about just doing what i want to do without waiting for a magic window of time that may never present itself or worrying about the process and outcome and talking myself out of it before i even begin.
> prioritze less/play more
"okay, let me just finish folding the laundry, then we'll ____." ugh. listen, laundry has to get folded, dishes need to be washed, dinner needs to be cooked. but i want to make an effort to put fun before chores at least once a day, every day. to say yes to playing when my knee-jerk reaction is to go down my list of to-dos before we do. everything else can wait. it'll all still be there in fifteen minutes. also under this category: taking family adventures! i want to do something fun and out of the ordinary once a month – we have a few ideas in the hopper and i'm excited to branch out and do more fun stuff together.
> criticize myself less/accept – and love – myself more
it's still sinking in that i have a daughter and the responsibility that comes along with that is something i've been thinking so much about since she's arrived. though, of course the responsibility is of equal importance for bonzo, and i want to be the best example i can be for them both. i read an article recently that really made me stop and think about so much. i don't want my daughter – or son – to hear or see me criticize myself, or fret about my body or my appearance. talk about putting my money where my mouth is! this is one of those things i have said i'll improve upon but never quite make it happen. but it's never been a more pressing issue than it is to me now. i don't want to just go through the motions for mushy's sake – though, truth be told she is my priority – i want to actually do it for my sake which will make all the difference, i think, for her. i don't want to criticize myself in front of the mirror when i'm by myself then try to set an example for her when she's in my presence. i want to accept and love myself for myself – so she can do the same for herself.
Labels: living + learning